Have you heard of ‘love languages’? Love languages describe how we feel loved and appreciated.
There are 5 love languages: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch. And here’s a handy tip – usually the way a person shows their love is also the way they feel love from others.
Understanding how you feel, and show, love – to your partner, your kids, your family and friends, is an important part of strengthening those important relationships. What better time than February, the month of love, to give it some thought?
Words of Affirmation
This love language expresses love using words to build a person up. These verbal compliments don’t have to be complicated either; even the shortest and simplest words of affirmation can be the most effective and mean a lot to a person with this love language. Compliments and an “I love you” can go a long way. On the other hand, negative or insulting comments can hurt this person and take longer to forgive than others.
Acts of Service
This love language is expressed by doing things you know someone will like. Cooking a meal, doing the laundry, picking up a prescription – these are all acts of service. They require some thought, time, and effort. All of these things must be done with positivity and with that person’s happiness in mind to be considered an expression of love. Actions out of obligation and with a negative tone are something else entirely.
This love language isn’t necessarily materialistic, it just means that a meaningful or thoughtful gift makes that person feel appreciated and loved. Something as simple as picking up a tub of their favourite ice cream after a hard day can make an impact on this love language.
This love language is all about undivided attention. No televisions, no phones, or any other distractions. People who feel this type of love language think talk is cheap and the type of action they want is to be your main focus. This doesn’t mean that you don’t sit with them to watch a movie; it just means that you need to make sure to dedicate time together without all of the distractions. That will help them feel comforted in the relationship.
Every time you cancel a date, postpone time together or aren’t present during your time together, it can be hurtful to the person who feels love in this way.
To a person who feels this love language, nothing is more impactful than a hug or holding their hand. They feel more connected and safe in a relationship where this occurs, and if this is a person’s primary love language, without it they will feel unloved. All of the words and gifts in the world won’t change that.
So this February try and figure out what your love language is – how do you feel most cared about from your loved ones?
And once you know your own love language try and figure out how your loved ones feel love back. It will make the world of difference to you and the people in your circle!